Ben’s Story: Why football matters

In football, it’s easy to miss the finer details. And we’re not talking about the beauty of the bend on a ball sailing into the back net. We’re talking about how football is a place for connection and community to grow. Stuff Ben Turner has seen over-and-over again in his 19 years as a community coach.

Ben, you coach your son's team and play yourself, football is clearly woven into your life. When you’re standing on the sideline watching your boy play, what are the moments that make you think, “This is why football matters”?

The teamwork, celebrations and disappointments supported by like-minded people kicking a spherical ball around creates a support structure which allows people to flourish.

Having benefited from these support structures myself over the years, it brings me so much joy seeing my kids inadvertently building these foundations that provide support in both the good times and the not-so-good. This is particularly critical for our men as the research shows through 17-40 they will have times where they feel alone, inadequate or will have a life event where a safe space is critical to getting through these times.

Grassroots football clubs can almost feel like extended families. At their best, what role do you think local clubs can play in supporting men who might be struggling off the pitch?

All community and grassroots clubs are perfect places for our men to find a safe space in those tough times. Although, it may not be the primary reason for the club, the bringing together of like-minded people who have time and space to bond over a common interest is so powerful. These bonds over time become so deep, engrained and safe, that any conversation about tough times can be shared and managed through those networks.

The role of the club is to provide and nurture the safety, then simply let the relationships that are formed do the rest.

For young boys watching the World Cup, role models matter. Beyond talent and trophies, what qualities do you hope kids are seeing in players and coaches today?

When a player makes a mistake like missed penalty, own goal, major error, watch the team mates wrap around them. Embraces, support, motivational words... This will be more prevalent in the knock-out phases where you will see players distraught but watch how their teammates, surround and comfort during this time of real emotional pain.

When a goal is scored, look past the showboating and the crowd runs. Watch how every player on the field and even sometimes on the bench come together and celebrate as a group. Passionate, excitement and joy is on full display. This will be more obvious during close games but the way that football celebrates is second to none.

As with all sports, there are some behaviours that we don't encourage in football as well; but they are far outweighed by the extreme teamwork, comradery and togetherness that you will see in these critical times.

Movember has a free tool called Movember Conversations, designed to help people have the difficult conversations about mental health with the men in their lives. As a coach used to motivating and connecting with people, do you think that kind of resource can actually make a difference?

The tools that Movember provide are critical to trying to make these conversations normalised. As men we are generally terrible at it. "It'll be right," "I'm okay," "It's all good," and "I'm tough" are heard all too often and shield to how men really feel. These type of tools prepare us for what a conversation might look like and make sure that people feel safe enough to talk. Also, knowing you don't need to solve a mate’s problem but can introduce them to pathways and professional help if required..

For a lot of men, football is one of the few times they regularly gather with mates. How important do you think those rituals and communities actually are for mental wellbeing?

Football gives a way to decompress from all the activities of a busy life. It gets men running around in a healthy way, exerting themselves physically and mentally. All while creating new friendships with like-minded people. It's 3-ish hours of your week where you can be strong, be weird, be athletic (or sometimes not) but most importantly you can be you, in a supportive space. For most, it’s a critical stress reset.

Check in on your mates. Watching the World Cup side-by-side is the perfect time. Practice conversations and ways to check in now at Movember Conversations.